Whenever anything happens, whenever things seem like they are out of control, there comes a moment when I become an outsider to myself. I leave my heaving mind, my troubled heart and my restless body and stand apart from it, a calm and composed statue. I watch myself like I would watch a stranger, or even an acquaintance. I have the pragmatic power to understand, to realise, and to know what is happening. It all seems so clear, but yet I cannot do anything. It is a serene helplessness. My strength is so close but yet so far from the real me… I am aware and conscious of my actions, the actions of others towards me, and my reactions to them. I know. I know everything. Why then is it of no use to the real me? Why can’t this sublime surreal form that I have taken help me to understand, to apply? To stop feeling the pain?
This is because every encounter I have, no matter how painful, hard, or destructive, helps me. It helps me to feel the feelings necessary to learn and let go. It helps me to watch myself as a silent observer, and know in my heart that I’m still there, and that my soul is not lost. I still have that inner connection with myself keeping me grounded and telling me it will all be okay. In the end perhaps, it does end up being okay. Moments are like the pages of a book. Each and every page needs to be experienced. Any one incomplete or missed out page can disrupt the reader’s overall understanding of the book. Similarly, every moment adds value to our lives and should be lived to the fullest. This positive perspective of each moment makes life exhilarating and worth living, very much like the way a good book cannot be kept down until the end.
So hone your ‘outsider’ because only that can give you the perspective to truly evolve from within.