The Silence isn’t silent!
It is a thousand thoughts rising, a web of tendrils moving rapidly towards me.
It is the simultaneous multi-tasking of thinking, feeling, analysing, comparing – all in a heartbeat of seemingly prolonged quiet.
It is the absorption into thoughts, both comfortable and cruel, taking us away from the present, into the unchangeable clarity of the past and the still unknown ambiguity of the future. There is a dichotomy within, which tendril of the past should we grip: the ones that gave us acute sadness, or the ones that are the best memories? Or perhaps, the ones that mix joy with grief…leading to a bit of nostalgia. That tendril then determines the futuristic fog our mind stumbles upon. Is that fog a positive one that makes you feel hopeful, inquisitive, despite the blur? Or is the fog an engulfing, suffocating one that makes you feel even more lost, and leaves you expecting more unexpected pain?
The mind is a maze of interconnected paths. Our silences inspect these paths and let our souls run up and down each one, trying to decide the best path for us. The silence is like the tremor felt below a calm surface; the silence is the peace before a storm – deceiving and complex. Each path leads to another in what seems like an infinitude of all possible human deliberations, desires, feelings and fears. Who are we if not beings of endless possibility?
So, the next time I sit in silence, know that my silence is a deception. I can be a million people in that moment, with changing moods and engulfing emotions, carrying out all possible options of tasks, weighing one against the other and deciding how to feel at the end of it all! Oh, what a wonder the human mind is!
The silence isn’t silent, it is anything but.